Friday, June 15, 2018

Unforgettable: That's What He Is


© 2018 Chantelle Henderson
Well, I just forgot Father’s Day is this Sunday. After I got through with my Target Meltdown a couple weeks ago I thought I was okay. I’m going down my feed today and see pictures of girls with their dads and while it touched my heart, made me smile, and gave me joy, it was also a stern reminder that my own Daddy is not here with me. Right now I’m so full of grief I can’t stand it. Why isn’t he here? Why can’t I touch him, hug him, give him butterfly kisses, and sit with him in deep conversation? I know life isn’t fair (whatever that means) but it can be outright cruel at times. That’s my dad up there, not here. Long before I had a husband and two boys, I had a Daddy. He was the first and only man in my life until I became a wife and mother. He was not perfect, but I could not have asked for better. It hurts. It is an ocean of grief (AGAIN) and I feel like I’m beginning to drown just when I found my footing once more. I know I sound selfish right now, because I am. I want him HERE. The loss of a father, especially one like mine, is a weight unlike any other I’ve ever experienced. THIS is when I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death-a literal death, but yet and still I will fear not for He, our Heavenly Papa, is with me

I trust You, God-right here in the brokenness of heart and a wounded spirit. I know You will keep Your promise that You are close to me. In my DENIAL, You have given me grace and mercy. In my ANGER, You have quieted my soul and steadied my heart. In my BARGAINING, You have reassured me that You are more than enough. In my DEPRESSION You have comforted me and hold each tear I cry in a bottle. And in my ACCEPTANCE, You have given me peace that passes all natural understanding. Lord, thank you for being so gracious to loan Daddy to us on this side of eternity for 71 years, 3 months, and 22 days. I have to admit that “I’m just jealous of the angels around the throne tonight.” as the song goes. R.I.H. Daddy.












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